I was tossed out of Harrods

It's true. I was asked to leave the Holy Grail of Retail today.
It started innocently enough. Keith, my mother and I left the flat on our way to a fun browsing day. After rides on crowded buses and tubes (2 of each) we arrived at Harrods, with our trusty shopping trolley in tow. Faithful readers will remember my beloved rolling cart from previous posts. I take it everyhwere.
If you've never been to Harrods, let me just say that it's really something you have to see to believe. It's a little like Disney World with much higher prices. You don't just "run in" Harrods. You shuffle through, pushed by the crowd. You pick a general direction in which to go and the crowd just takes you, like a giant wave of greedy humanity.
One of the things I've noticed at Harrods is that there are always luxury cars parked outside. This is odd because there doesn't seem to be anywhere to park nearby and most Londoners don't drive to shopping venues. But always around Harrods, there are Bentleys and Rolls Royces. A Mercedes would be slumming for this crowd. And there is always a sunglass-wearing beefy guard standing near the parked cars. Today my mom stood by a Rolls while I snapped her photo. I couldn't see the guard's eyes (sunglasses, remember?) but I could feel the glare. I was hissing, "Don't touch the car!" I didn't want to be arrested!
Well, we walked into the store, moving through the souvenir shop where you can find anything in the world with "Harrods" on it. Aprons, tea towels, bags, tins of candy, gummies, biscuits and chocolate, bears, keychains, tea, mugs, coasters ... you get the idea. They may even have a tattoo shop. It wouldn't surprise me.
We walked through the food halls, which is a tribute to excess. More cheeses than you can imagine. I lost count of the varieties of ham. Jams and curds, breads and pastries and the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen. They looked like works of art with their rolled fondant icing and beautiful decorations. A tiny fruitcake - about the size of a cupcake - was white with a delicate black lacy pattern on it. The tiny cake was 9 pounds 95 pence - about $19. I couldn't take the shock of finding a price on the regular-sized cake. That would be Sugar Sticker Shock.
But if you're a chocoholic, you'll be in heaven at Harrods.
We found everything in chocolate - including some adorable snowmen and Santas - even a chocolate Scrabble game.
We went to one of Harrods 28 eateries for some liquid refreshment, then went in search of the loo. In this posh palace, you can wee for free, but you must go to the lower ground floor, through the pharmacy to find the loo. And then you'll stand in line to use it. Here's a fun fact: the bathroom was smallish and there was an attendant on duty. Her sole duty seemed to be to say, "Next," whenever a stall cleared. But there on the counter, many coins were left to tip her. That is a job I could do - bet you get a discount too.
So then, back upstairs. We were headed to Christmas World and Pet Kingdom. We had bid Keith farewell in the food hall. He was stocking up on olives and fancy cold cuts to take back to the flat so he could watch the Clemson football game while Mom and I geared up for some power shopping.
As we were walking through the perfumerie, a guard approached me.
"Madame," he said. "You cannot bring that trolley into the store."
"What? I have had it in the store for the past two hours," I said.
"Well, you cannot do this. You must check it on the lower ground floor or you must leave the store."
It did not take long to make this decision. Getting to the lower ground floor would take 45 minutes. I was within sight of an exit door.
We decided to leave and not a moment too soon - he led the way to the door and gave me a daggers look when I defiantly stopped at the Penhaligons counter for a sniff of their divine Victorian Posy scent.
What are two gals to do when they're thrown out of London's poshest store?
Well, we kept shopping! We walked to Harvey Nicks, had a wonderful tea with cool little sandwiches, cookies, brownies, scones and a fabulous fruit tart. We looked at purses with buttery-soft leather and heart-attack-inducing price tags - 2,000 pounds for one yummy Balenciaga bag that we both fell in love with. I didn't buy anything there, but Harvey Nicks likes me ... he really likes me! He let me roll my trolley right through his fancy store.
Mom and I were wearing new pedometers and before the night was done, we'd walked about six miles. But alas, in the crush of the bus ride back to Islington, we both lost our pedometers so now we have to guess at how far we're traveling. We may not know the exact mileage, but we're definitely gals on the go.