Puttin' on the Ritz

Today I had the most elegant of birthday celebrations - it was swanky, special, fancy - even - especially - ritzy.
I had Afternoon Tea at The Palm Court of The Ritz London.
Wow.
My sister Cara and friend Laura treated me to this posh outing. We made reservations for 7:30 p.m. and arrived just in time. We were escorted into the tea room and tried our best not to gawk and stare like a trio of North Carolina hillbillies. We were not allowed to take pictures, so I'll just have to describe the experience, although I'm not sure I can find the words.
The Ritz London has been in the same spot on Picadilly for 102 years. We walked through a revolving door into a small lobby with thick carpets and soaring ceilings and down a long hall to the Palm Court. We had seen photos of the Palm Court and it's so elegant but smaller than it looks on the web. That's probably because three sides of it have mirrors - gilt-edged and very ornate. You walk up three wide marble steps into the oval-shaped court, which has about 25 round tables with cream-colored linen tablecloths and velvet chairs with white and green wood trim.
Our waiter wore a black tuxedo with snappy red vest and of course, he had impeccable manners and a creamy British accent.
We ordered the afternoon tea. Now, I have had tea at several places in London but this was far and away the most elegant and I am going to tell you, if you are coming to London and you want the real deal, save your pounds and pence for the Ritz. You will love it.
Now, back to the tea ...
We had beautiful bone china with a green and gold trim. Two silver teapots were on the table, along with silver tea strainers and a three-tiered silver plate stand. On the top plate were an assortment of pastries - a piece of sinfully rich chocolate cake, two different kinds of fruit tarts, a napoleon, a raspberry-lemon layered cookie and an almond-y mousse.
The bottom plate held cut sandwiches. We started out with three of each: smoked salmon, ham, chicken, cucumber, mature cheddar and egg mayonnaise on a small roll. We munched on those and a waiter walked by with a big silver tray. "More sandwiches, madame?" Never one to say no to more of anything fabulous, I nodded affirmatively. He whipped out big tongs and put five more sandwiches on our plate. These are smallish sandwiches - you could make three out of two slices of bread. But we got refilled twice. First time that's ever happened at tea. Go, Ritz!
Then come the scones and dark fruitcake. The scones, which honestly do look like little biscuits, were melt-in-your-mouth good, especially with fresh clotted cream and strawberry preserves on top.
While we were eating, musicians (pianist and strings) were playing beautiful music. I felt like I was on the set of a 1930s movie, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see Fred Astaire dance right by us.
Now here's the cool part: This was a birthday present to me, from generous Cara and Laura (thank you, thank you, thank you!). The regular tea is 37 pounds per person. If you want birthday tea (which adds a glass of champagne and a tiny cake with a candle), the cost is 58 pounds per person. So I told Cara that I wanted just the afternoon tea - birthday tea was just too much.
Well, the person two tables over had birthday tea. Here comes the teensy cake and champagne AND the violinist came over and played a lovely rendition of "Happy Birthday to You." Well, I got to bask in the glow of the song, pretend it was playing for me and save 63 pounds in the process. How neat is that??
When we left, we walked out into the slightly chilly evening and allowed the doorman to hail a cab for us. You can't ride the Tube after an evening at the Ritz. We were three Cinderellas and that black cab was our pumpkin coach.